………………….to people who probably cannot, will not and probably don’t know how to read.

First; to the Portuguese teenager who thought he was cool by kicking my moped and ripping the England flag off the back of it tonight. Next time try kicking my moped when I’m outside and I’ll jump the fence and beat the living shit out of you. I hope your team crumbles and you rot in hell.

Second; to the German fan who got so drunk he fell down the stairs when we kicked him out of the bar tonight; you’re an asshole. When my co-worker very politely guided you to the door, you yelled something about her liking girls and then pointed at me and said “look here, tubby”. Tubby? Motherfucker, I saw you chase that group of girls down the street after the bar next door kicked you out too. I hope your team loses, you get hit by a car tonight, and last, but definitely not least, you rot in hell next to the Portuguese teenager, you beer guzzling, non-tipping, creepy dancing, living at home with your mother piece of shit.

That is it. I hope everyone had a better night than I did.